Sometimes I go through these phases where I’m really freaking clumsy. Almost like I’m in one of those terribly cliché romantic comedies where the girl is constantly falling over and spilling things and inevitably literally runs into her soul mate who, of course, finds her lack of coordination endearing and they live happily ever after. Well, I already have my Tom Hanks/Hugh Grant/Matthew McConaughey/[enter your favorite leading man here], so, my clumsiness leaves me not to new exciting heights of true love but instead to messes—lots of them. In the last 24 hours, I have performed the below three acts of stupidity:
1. In the past year I have broken three, beautifully etched wine glasses that Ryan’s mom got us for Christmas 2006. She got us a set of four, and since breaking 3/4s of the set, Ryan has barred me from using the lucky, remaining glass. Hilariously, both Erin and Ryan noticed my difficulty at keeping glasses as nature intended and got me stem-less wine glasses for Christmas 2007. (Seriously, how hilarious is that?) Well, last night I was drinking some Chianti while cooking and, of course, knocked over the glass, spilling wine everywhere. While I somehow managed not to break the glass (yay for stem-less drinkware!), I did end up spilling dark red wine all over my left brand-spanking-new Nike. I know you’re not supposed to get upset when someone smudges your Puma, but what about when I myself spill wine all over my yet-to-be-run-in shoes? I dried it the best I could and then pouted for an hour. Darn me.
2. This morning, I performed my 8 a.m. work ritual. Oatmeal with flax seed? Check. Piece of fruit w/napkin? Check. Coffee? Check. Coffee all over my jeans? Bonus! I totally spilled coffee all down my right leg, while walking back to my desk. I’m sure at least five people saw it. Brilliant.
3. This afternoon, I had yet another clumsy incident. Siena got a couple rounds of shots this morning as part of her normal vaccination, and the vet warned us she could be a little out of it for 24 hours and may exhibit flu-like symptoms. The worrier that I am, I went home over lunch to check on the little bugger. While there, I found her in good health and myself stepping in a big ole pile of poo in the backyard. I was wearing my new chucks. They now smell of poo even though I scrubbed them vigorously. God hates me.
And the day’s not even over yet!
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2 comments:
These things come in threes, so hopefully now you're good! Btw, being the twins that we are, I too spilled coffee all over myself yesterday. It was the second shirt I ruined within hours. One was Marti's fault...I won't give details. :)
Awww muffin! At least you're not permanently stained or broken!!! Course being a similarly clumsy girl, I always have random bruises I can't explain. Must be the aliens.
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