Random Things Monday

1. I still love Paula Abdul. Oh. So. Very. Much. And I love the Fuggers. Not only for helping Erin and I realize our true awesomeness, but also because of moments of glory like this.

2. Dogs in Christmas sweaters aren't what they seem. Beware.

4. I'm not sure what's worse...getting the flu or taking care of a loved one with the flu. Plus having a dog who is afraid of thunderstorms who wants to do nothing but sit on your head. Literally. Sit on your head.

5. I heart fragments.

Happy Halloweenie!

Before I get into Halloweenie pics, I must first share some photos of the birthday girl! In celebration on her first estimated year of life, Miss Siena got a new collar, a new harness and doggie ice cream. I think she enjoyed it.

Sitting quietly for her treat.

Collar close-up: We picked pink so people would stop calling her a him.

Now for the really fun stuff. I freakin' love Halloween. And while many of our friends were in different states so we couldn't all celebrate together like we usually do (slow tear, fast tear), we did our best to make the most of it. Regretfully, on Halloween night at Charlie Hoopers, my camera died, so I didn't get pics of Jim and Jessica. Jessica went as the bailout bill and Jim was the golden parachute. It was brilliant.

Ryan went as one of the Beastie Boys from the Sabotage video. Love it.

'Stash close-up.

I've wanted to be a flapper for FOREVER. Finally, I made my dream come true.

Sarv went as the Joker in the beginning scenes of The Dark Knight. It freaked my ish out.

Group pic!

On Saturday, Ryan and I spent some time walking around the Plaza and waiting for a table at PF Changs. It was an hour-and-a-half wait, but we had a gift cert, and it was a nice night, so really no complaints. It gave me ample opportunity to shoot. :)

Everyone loves this fountain.

You may walk now. 

Sunset in the park...ahhh.

Finally, I stake out Ponce de Leon. Home of the...

ELUSIVE PONCE DE LEON SHEEP!!!

Long Overdue

I effing hate squirrels:
Well, now that I have that off my chest, let's address my inability to blog. Well, in all fairness, things have been a tad nutso lately. I spent months complaining about my crappy work situation, then spent time soul searching, then Erin and I created FBG. Next, I lost my mind working with the Small Business Association, started interviewing for jobs, finally landed a job that was created for me (both figuratively and literally), had a bizarro hush-hush-quit-my-job experience, went to Chicago, and now I start my new job on Monday. Phew. And to think that I once thought that my 26th year of life would be the most exciting. 27 ain't too shabby all in all, and God knows what 28 holds.

This weekend also marks two exciting things: 1) Ryan and I's one-year anniversary is on Sunday, and I'm so excited for it. We really picked a beautiful time of year to get married, and it's so nice that each year I can look back on that beautiful day. Awesome. 2) Siena's estimated birthday is on Monday! The booger turns 1, and I plan to spoil her rotten with doggie ice cream, a new collar and a new leash. No cake though, I'm not that nutters.

The only other thing that I should mention is that I recently made and decorated the ugliest cake imaginable. And I really tried to make it pretty (I swear!), but apparently my cake skills are in need of some serious sharpening. As is my recipe for icing. See?

Why did I, a Mizzou grad, bake and decorate a cake that says Texas on it, you ask? I lost a bet. Damn Longhorns.

Siena's Shenanigans and Other Events Since I Stopped Finding the Time to Blog

Things at the Nut have been crazy lately. My day job has been going as usual, I started teaching two boot camps (on the Nelson Lawn!) and then there's the "extra" project I've got going on the side. Sheesh. Not to mention having fun with friends, spending quality time with the fam and enjoying/chasing after my very large puppy. This is one summer for the books. Here's an abridged version of what's happened since I last blogged almost three weeks ago. Shame on me...

Siena Update
1) Siena has developed quite the sense of, er, humor. Her latest "game" is taking a prized possession from inside and running outside to chew on it. The fun part comes when Ryan or I go out to get it from her. The chase is cute the first couple of times, and then it gets old--quick. Her most recent treasure was a water spritzer. The same one that we use, I mean used to discipline her. Funny, Siena, really funny.

2) While I was making stir-fry for this post, Siena sneaked up and literally slurped up one of my noodles, Lady and the Tramp style. She sucked a long noodle all the way to her mouth with the tip hitting her nose. I laughed hard at this, which I'm sure is not the best way to teach her to not go after people's food.

3) Siena has a BFF. Her name is Izzy, and she lives next door. I've mentioned her before. Apparently, Siena can't bear the thought of them being outside at the same time without being able to run around/bite/play together. So, my little darling puppina JUMPED THE 4 FOOT FENCE to get to her. Then Ryan and I spent all day adding chicken wire and fence extenders to the chain-link fence to prevent further rendezvous.

4) Siena has also entered destruction mode. This was once a double-knotted, heavy-duty chewing rope (with minty floss!). Now, it's the spaghetti monster:


More moments of zen with Siena:




People and Plant Update
1) This summer has been unusually cool. And it hasn't been that humid. It really doesn't feel like the big Mo, but I'll take it. A few weeks ago, Ryan and I, along with some friends, hit up the annual Shakespeare in the Park festival. This year they put on Othello, and it was fantastic. You can bring your own food and wine in, too, which makes it that much sweeter. As you can see, we had quite the feast.






2) Sadly, I forgot my camera on the 4th, but I guarantee it was filled with Kodak moments. We first hit up my parents for a grill out with a ridiculous amount of meat, and then went over to a friend's for more meat, beer and bocce ball, which Ryan is now obsessed with. I have to admit that it is fun, despite it having the most boring wiki entry ever.

3) Ryan and I have been working our butts off in the yard, and we're finally reaping the rewards. You may remember the garden we planted back on Memorial Day? Well, little garden has grown. Check this out.


Besides making pesto with the loads of basil I've grown, this weekend we even got our first red grape tomato. Here's my moment of zen:

Summer Lovin'/Domestic Bliss

Although we celebrated Memorial Day a few weeks ago, this weekend is the first one that felt like it was really summer. I wore shorts and flip flops all weekend, and I went to a pool party (without even getting burnt!). That's a recipe for summer right there.

This weekend, Ryan and I also did some outdoor upgrades to the Nut, including the planting of five native grasses along the backside of our neighbor's fence. Previously, nothing had grown here except weeds, so this was a major improvement.



Each grass plant is supposed to grow five feet tall. They don't take a lot of water, either, so they're quite eco-friendly (and require little commitment from us, which rocks).




After we were done planting, Ryan moved some of the extra dirt we had to a wheelbarrow. While I was taking pictures, I captured Siena in the wheelbarrow. How she got up there without tipping the whole dirt-filled thing over (the wheelbarrow has a very wobbly tire situation going on), I have no idea.


If fact, she was actually quite content in the wheelbarrow.

Although, I haven't come up with a nickname for Siena's love of gardening, her most recent eccentricities have landed her three new nicknames (in addition to these mentioned earlier this year). There are as follows...

1) Scooter Paws: Siena LOVES sliding around on our wood floors. Ryan and I can stand with our feet hip-distance apart at opposite ends of our living room, and she'll run from person to person, sliding under our legs. I really should try to get video of it sometime...

2) Frito Lay: On certain days, Siena smells just like America's beloved corn chip, Fritos. It can be a day or two after a bath, and she'll smell like this. It's not really a bad smell. It just makes me want to eat chili. It's weird, and I can't explain it.

3) Puppina: One day, I said Siena was acting like a puppy princess, and then this came out of my mouth. Sometimes, for extra fun, I call her Pumpkin Puppina, as she is the color of pumpkin.

Four Awesome Things

1) My friend Mike was published on McSweeney's. Read it. Even if you don't follow the Royals and have no idea who Jon Lester is, you'll find it hilarious.

2) Call off the Orbit search party. I found the Sangria Fresca gum mentioned in a previous post.

I would give you a full review here about how it's good but not as good as I thought it would be (I really, really like sangria), but I found this other blog post that sums it up better than I could. She's as obsessive about new flavors as I am, apparently.

3) On Monday, Jim hosted the first-annual Yard Beer Invitational. I forgot my camera, so I didn't get any photos of the event, but it was glorious. There's nothing better than blind tasting cheap beer (with the help of Wonder Bread to cleanse the palette). Below was my beer of choice. It's smooth, easy to drink, watery and oh-so-inexpensive, a perfect beer for me. I shall drink copious amounts of it this summer.

4) And most awesome, my cousin done and got married yesterday evening. And it was beautiful. Congrats to the newlyweds! I should have a photo or two to share soon!

Happy 100th post to me!

Today is a historic day for PH Balanced. This is its 100th post! Woohoo! That's a lot of blogging about random stuff. In honor of this joyous occasion, I'm posting about two of my favorite things: sheep and sugar-free gum.

One of my friends recently sent me this article, which features the below insanely cute photo. All together now, aww.


Now that our cute quota has been filled for the day, on to the gum. Orbit is probably my favorite brand of sugar-free gum because they're always coming up with new fun flavors. For example, about a year ago they released Mint Mojito, which I adore:


Recently, I stumbled upon two new flavors of Orbit Gum: Fabulous Fruitini and Strawberry Mint. Fabulous Fruitini wasn't exactly fabulous, but it was pretty tasty and tasted very similar to old-school FruitStripes gum, so it had that nostalgia thing going for it. Strawberry Mint was also pretty good, although both didn't keep their flavor long. (If anyone from Orbit stumbles upon this, work on that, OK?)

The new flavors got me curious though...what other flavors are out there or about to be released? The Orbit site wasn't very informative in that department, but wiki, as usual, came to the rescue. According to this, Sangria Fresca should be out and about. I MUST find it. If you see it, buy it for me, please. I'm good for the $1.33.

And, if you happen to be traveling in Russia, Germany, Israel, the Czech Republic or Bulgaria, keep your eyes peeled for even more fruitier flavors. Grapefruit Mint...Orange Berries...Fruit for Kids (really interested to know what that is...I'm guessing fruit punch)...it's an exciting sugar-free gum world out there, and I must sample it!

Siena's Additional Eccentricities

Last night during a storm, our Internet crashed at home, so I didn't get a chance to upload photos of my Earth Day activities. Therefore, I'm posting about Siena, who is always good material. I have three items to add to her eccentric behavior list. They are as follows...

1) She's afraid of children/short old people. I like to think Siena is particularly attuned to the spiritual world because she does not like people close to the beginning or the end of the life cycle. She likes the 18 to 65 years old best. Particularly, male, huge and in a truck. She loves dudes in trucks. But give her a 8-year-old waiting on a street corner for his school bus to pick him up, and she freaks. Or, my 5-foot-tall grandparents. You'd think they were trying to kidnap her when they try to play a round of fetch with her. When it comes to Siena, the bigger and more male the better.

2) She loves planters but hates potted plants. Every time Siena plays fetch outside, she always brings the ball back to one spot in the yard: the planter. She runs over and jumps into it, dropping the ball and happily wagging her tail. Why? I have no idea. But she loves sitting and chewing in that dang planter. However, if anything happens to be growing in her planter, or any potted plant container (plants in the ground are OK for some reason, thankfully) on the premises, the offender must be destroyed, NOW.*

3) She is a compulsive yawner. The dog must yawn 12 times every morning, usually in somewhat rapid succession. Sometimes I think she does it because it's a way for her to make noise without getting in trouble (sometimes the yawn borders on a whine). But, I'm really not sure. You really do have to hear it to believe it. There's no way she's that sleepy.


*It's for this reason that Siena recently destroyed two of my mums. They were pretty much dead, but she seemed to have completely eaten both of them, leaving her with quite the upset tummy. Hopefully she learns her lesson, but I'm not holding my breath.

His Name is Earl

Seeing that it's a dark and stormy night in Kansas City, it seems like the perfect time to share something I've been, well, experiencing...

First, a little background. Earl used to live in the Nut before it was called the Nut. Earl bought the house in the late 50s, raised a family here and passed away from cancer last summer. His wife had died a few years prior to that, we've learned from neighbors. Earl and his family were excellent homeowners, taking very good care of their property. The floors are on the whole in excellent shape, the windows are in perfect condition, and despite some questionable wallpaper choices, the Nut was a steal. (The house was only on the market for a day, and we weren't the only offer.) Earl also always kept a trim, weed-free yard and grew tasty tomatoes every summer. This all has left Ryan and I with pretty big shoes to fill. (Crabgrass...what's crabgrass???)

Over the past few months, I've noticed a few unusual incidents at the Nut. All have occurred in the two rooms of the house that connect the house proper to the backyard: the screened-in porch area and the mudroom. I frequently will go into the mudroom (I'm in there often because that's where Siena's food is and gosh knows she's a growing girl), come out and lock the door. Later I'll go back down to see that the door is unlocked. Same goes for the screened-in porch. Once, while Siena and I were watching TV (Ryan was out working late), we heard a strange noise (Siena's ears perked up and she woofed) and found the door to the mudroom open.

Now, it's totally possible that it's just the wind or change in air pressure from the two rooms into the house. Or maybe Ryan is just effing with me (but I honestly don't think he'd play along this long without cracking). But, maybe, just maybe, it's Earl.

Now, I don't feel anything malicious or bad in the house. I feel more like Earl is just checking on things. In fact, to Ryan's enjoyment, I had a quick convo with Earl, telling him that we'd take good care of things and that we're cool with him coming and going if he could, you know, remember to shut and lock the doors. (Just a suggestion, Earl.)

Earl was a smoker, so maybe he's enjoying a cigarette in the great outdoors. Or maybe Earl is heading out to his backyard of splendor to see how we're keeping his outdoor legacy up. I really don't know. I just hope to God he approves.

Siena is already becoming eccentric.

Although Siena is a mere five months old, she's already developed quite the list of bizarre, eccentric habits, typically seen only in dogs 10+ years.

Here are a few of them:

1) She loves rocks. Has anyone seen that one Dog Whisperer where the dog is obsessed with rocks and chooses rocks over balls and toys to chew on? I hope to God that isn't my dog. As of late, she's grown accustomed to finding rocks in the yard and bringing them into the screened in porch to chew on. She's also assembled a pile of rocks in the middle of the yard. I have no idea how chewing on rocks can feel good, so I'm hoping she just likes the taste of dirt. Or is a hoarder. Either way, Ryan and I have tried to halt this development by attempting to pick up all the rocks in the backyard. Talk about fun.

2) She humps me. She'll actually run up to me, wrap her paws around my leg and go at it a few times. Girl dogs don't usually hump, so we may have a lesbian dog. That really doesn't bother me too much though; she rarely does it. What does really bother me though is that when she does it, she stares deeply into my eyes. (Note: She has tried to hump Ryan once or twice, but she never looks at him the same loving way.)

3) She is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. And when I saw afraid, I mean deathly afraid. And it doesn't have to be running to incite fear. The mere knowledge that it's in another room can set her ears down and back. We've been trying to desensitize her to the vacuum cleaner by making her sniff it every day, but each time she'll still scurry out of the room barking.

I should have known...Siena is a Walters, and no one who is named Walters--including myself--can be normal. No one.

Sheepish Grin

Tish found the below video today (caveat: you have to endure a short lame commercial to get to the good stuff, but wait it out because it's worth it, I promise), and I had to share because I absolutely adore sheep. They're cute. They're cuddly. They're not very smart. And, they can be really freaking funny. I mean, come on. They baaaa as a form of communication. What's not to love and giggle at?

Sure, they're scared and that one dude is lassoing them, which isn't very nice, but it's better than being left on the highway unprotected. The news anchors are pretty good, too. It's hard to report on sheep without making at least one "black sheep" joke, I imagine.

Coming clean

I know the blog has been Siena heavy lately, and I don't want to become one of those annoying dog people, but I think it's too late. In fact, I read this and found it not only cute but also tempting to do. So, to hell with it, I'm coming clean. Here's my official statement:

"When it comes to dogs, Jennipher is no longer an objective member of society. She has stepped down to better serve the needs of herself. Let it be known that, in her mind, Siena is a dog unmatched in intelligence, agility and cuteness. Instead of pretending to be objective and not obsessed with her dog for the rest of her life, she's decided to come clean. She is, in fact, hopeless. She hopes you understand."

Phew. I feel better. Now I can stop apologizing for posting things like this:

Here's a shot of us making dinner. Siena patiently waits for me to drop something. She's figured out pretty quickly that I'm the clumsy one in the house and that I drop things on a somewhat regular basis.




Like most puppies, Siena is rough on her toys. Lately though it's become a bit worrisome. Earlier this week, I found this:


Which I reassembled to be Truman.


Just for reference, here's what Truman looked like earlier this month. The signs were all there; I blame myself for what happened.

The boycott is on.

I’ve had it with winter, and I’ve especially had it with 60 degrees one day, 25 degrees and snow/ice/sleet the next. Therefore, I’m boycotting winter. As of today, Tuesday, February 25, 2008, it’s officially spring. Feel free to wear your best spring attire. Today, I’m sporting three-quarters-length sleeves and ballet flats -- with no socks. Daring, I know.

I implore you to celebrate spring with me. I beg of you…even though tonight it’s supposed to snow again, look deep within your soul and find that warm and cheery spring soul that I know you have. It’s there, and it’s strong enough to melt any freezing rain that the big man upstairs can throw down. Hallelujah!

I feel warmer already…

F to the I to the B-E-R.

After receiving favorable reviews of my Valentine’s Day poem, I thought I’d post another little bit of wordy goodness. This time, the subject is fiber. That’s right, f-i-b-e-r. This one goes out to Tishy…For full effect, please read in a rap-like style.

Fiber, fiber, it’s the stuff in your food--
the stuff that’s left over before you’ve pooed.

There’s soluble and insoluble. Those are the two types.
Get them both often, and it’ll clean out your pipes.

Eat your beans, your broccoli and your oatmeal now!
Otherwise, it’ll feel like you’re passing a cow.

And, when it comes to fiber, don’t throw caution to the wind.
Add it to your diet slowly, or it’ll feel like you’ve sinned.

Small, but steady is the name of the game.
Do it now, and your health won’t ev-er be lame.

Peace out, homies!

Shut up and dance*

Dear lord, she’s making a comeback, and I’m not just talking about American Idol. My childhood pop star idol has a single. Sure, it’s over-processed, lacks creativity and sounds like something off of Britney Spear’s Blackout, but whatever. It’s still my beloved Paula (no matter how weird or drugged up she is).

* - If you get this reference and even owned the remixes, I commend you. You, my friend, are awesome.

Welcome to the Family, Yaris

So, we bought a new car. Ryan said he'd never do it, but he did. We bought a brand spakin' new car, complete with new car smell. Awesome.

The new set of wheels hasn't been named yet, but there are some contenders. Tish suggested Yani the Yaris, I suggested lamely The Silver Bullet, Quicksilver, Button (as in cute as), and Ryan has come up with spudz (I suggested the "z" on the end) because it looks like a potato. I'll let you know what the final verdict is and am taking ideas.

A few facts about the Yaris:

• it's cheap
• it's made by Toyota (I've cheated on the Ford family, oh my!)
• it gets 29 in the city and 35 on the highway
• so far, we love it

Ryan is shown below with the sales guy. This is from today when we picked Yani the Yaris up (I personally think that has a good ring to it) from the dealership.

In celebration of the new ride, here are a few Yaris commercials. My favs are the pie and the hydrant one. Too funny.

Pie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKvynrW0kUs

Gorilla: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qzLV6zd14Y

Hydrant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFdrLKQmJUw&NR=1

ipod: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFml5uw3A_w

Toto Invasion

You ever feel like the universe is trying to tell you something? Ever have a period in your life where the same dang thing keeps popping up over and over, and you want to scream to the gods, "Okay, already. I get it!" Have ya?


Well, I'm feeling that way, but I'm definitely not understanding the message. Toto is EVERYWHERE in my life. And when I say Toto, I mean this Toto:




Not to be confused with this Toto:

My first encounter with Toto happened three weeks ago at Ryan's parent's house. We were there picking up some Christmas ornaments when Ryan's mom asked us if we wanted to borrow her latest purchase, the CD of Toto's Greatest Hits. Ryan, a closet Toto fan, was all over it. On our way home, we enjoyed hits such as Rosanna, Hold the Line, Africa and Ryan's favorite Georgie Porgy (for the record, that one is my least favorite). For the next two weeks, we listened to quite a bit of Toto -- in the car, while cleaning the house and Ryan sung it quite frequently, thereby providing some Toto-inspired entertainment daily.

Then, I began hearing Toto everywhere, and without Ryan nearby. This is when I started to get freaked out. Today, I heard Hold the Line when I got in the car on my way to work. Then, over lunch I heard Rosanna in the car but on another station. AND, yesterday Ryan and I were watching an old Scrubs episode and JD was listening to Africa on his ipod.

Toto is everywhere! But, what does it mean?! Does it mean that Toto is posed for a comeback? Should I go to Africa? Is Rosanna the key to world peace? Or does it mean that I need to buy some new CDs and stop listening to the radio and/or Ryan sing? It's a mystery, folks. I'm up for suggestions.

Whoops a Yummy

Tonight Bert and I made sherbet muffins, entirely by accident. Let me explain.

This past Sunday, Ryan and I made a lovely little trip to the grocery store. After getting in a ridiculous argument over the coolness of sports jerseys worn by regular folk (Ryan hates them unless they're George Brett's, I think they're fine as long as they're tasteful), we did our weekly food shopping in silence except for the occasional grunt and command -- "pick out your yogurt." I also accidentally ran over Ryan's foot. I'm such an adult.

Anywho, during my pissed off state, I apparently grabbed a box of lemon cake mix instead of chocolate cake mix and never even realized it until tonight, when I went to make my pumpkin-chocolate muffins (aka, uber tasty -- and healthy -- muffins that anyone can make with only a can of pumpkin and the box of mix) and was greatly disappointed to find a box of lemon cake mix staring back at me.

Completely defeated, I went to Ryan cursing. He suggested I just use the lemon instead of the chocolate. Lemon and pumpkin isn't a combination I'd normally put together, but for fun I decided to try it.

Here is Bert working the eerily similar color batter:

And here is the finished product:

Lo and behold, the lemon-pumpkin muffins rock. They taste kind of sherbet-y, and I imagine they'd be excellent with vanilla or cream cheese frosting.

Ryan gives this mistake a thumbs up and has been driven crazy by tastiness:

Down and Dirty Dinos

As I was leaving my little cubicle tonight and gathering all my belongings for the quick commute home (still excited about how short it is, btw), I noticed something a bit off kilter. I did a double take of my cube, trying to figure out what it was. I looked over at one of my shelves, which is adorned with various figurines, toys and other knick-knacks. I quickly saw what the problem was. Two of my small dinosaur figures were positioned rather crudely.

By crude I mean they were getting it on. Although my dinos are cheap and much less detailed than the toys pictured below, you can get the gist if you imagine the green one (veloceraptor, I think) up on the stegosaurus' business.

I really have no idea who did this or even how long they had been "positioned," but it's pretty hilarious. Ironically enough, everyone at the company just went through sexual harassment training. Pretty sure, this isn't appropriate in the corporate world, but in the Jenn world it's pretty amusing to my typical not-so-exciting work day. Now if I come in tomorrow and my other knick-knacks are doing the nasty, then I may start to get creeped out, but in the meantime, I'll assume this was a one-time prank by the cleaning guy.